It might be the beginning of a book, or it might just be therapy.
I recently wrote a post pondering how to help others who are coping with the care of an Alzheimer patient. There are so many issues and so many opportunities that I'm still pondering. For now, though, I've started another another blog, where I can begin quickly to share what I've learned and investigate some of these issues.
If you know someone in this position, they might want to follow me at When the Doctor Says "Dementia".
As I look back over the last five or more years and my journey with my mother's Alzheimer Disease, I am still struck by the stress I suffered and the toll that it has taken on my health and well being. But now, as I begin a new chapter in that journey and as I learn about the disease, I realize how much of that stress originated in my ignorance about so many things. And because I faced so much of it alone and in ignorance, I wonder how I might help others going through this experience. Oh, how wonderful it would be to spare one person that suffering!
My husband says that I should write a book about all that I have learned. I have so much still to learn about the disease, and much of what I learned over the last five years is about dealing with the local health professionals and system where my mother lived. A book is a long-term project and mine might be too localized to be of broad assistance to anyone. But I haven't ruled out the option.
I have learned that there are volunteer opportunities with my local Alzheimer Society, and there are also advocacy opportunities: to help raise awareness, to educate decision-makers and influence public policy.
I continue to learn about the disease and the statistics about the affect of this on our society as we baby boomers age are frightening. I'm also learning about the support programs offered by the Canadian and BC Alzheimer Societies. One of these is a message board, and through that I'm learning about the challenges of caring for an Alzheimer patient in your home.
And while I do this learning, I'll continue to ponder how I might help in an effective way.
Any suggestions?
My mom is now living in a Residential Care home, after several stressful weeks of assessments and months of increasing dementia. The caregivers there are very kind, and although it has only been a few days, she seems to be settling in. She was beginning to "wander", and knowing she is safe is a huge relief for me.
The challenge for me now is letting go. A manager by nature and profession, I find myself continuing to micro-manage doctor, hair dressing and dentist appointments, just as I used to. And when I'm not micro-managing, well, I'm just plain thinking about her.
We are having to make big changes in my mother's living arrangements, and I am currently having her assessed to determine exactly what kind of place will give her the care she needs. This can be very overwhelming as it involves large changes in finances, housing, independence, location, etc. Some days I find it all a bit too much - there is a lot to do and think about!
My good friend Judith reminded me recently the importance of keeping my own life in balance during this time. She said, "Remember to put your own mask on first, before helping the person in the seat beside you."
